Title: Emotionally Charged: Man Struggles with Numbness as Abusive Mother Enters Hospice Care
A heart-wrenching account has emerged on the r/AITAH forum on Reddit, where a 59-year-old man poured his emotions out regarding his mother’s transition into hospice care. Surprisingly, he confessed to feeling nothing despite his expectations of relief.
In his post, he shared the torment he endured between the ages of 4 and 8, as he was subjected to sexual abuse from his mother. The trauma inflicted by her control over him resulted in various lifelong struggles, including anger issues, emotional processing difficulties, and eating disorders. Symptoms such as emotional distress and eating disorders are commonly associated with childhood traumatic stress or sexual abuse trauma, according to experts.
As a ray of hope in his healing journey, the man and his wife adopted a daughter whom he adores and takes great pride in. However, his trauma resurfaced in April, causing trouble concentrating, restless sleep, suicidal thoughts, and frequent flashbacks. Seeking help, he visited his primary care physician, which ultimately led him to therapy and a road to recovery. Since May, he has lost 65 pounds by adopting healthier habits and exercising gently.
The man’s wife, unaware of his past, was taken aback by his breakdown. Their intimacy had been strained due to his shame, guilt, and self-loathing. Consequently, she asked him whether he had ever abused their daughter, demonstrating her commitment to protecting their child. Together, the family embraced therapy, with all members seeking professional help.
In a candid confession, the man revealed that he anticipated feeling good when his mother passed away, but instead, he experienced an overwhelming absence of emotions. He acknowledges that his decision not to visit or attend any memorial may be influenced by the family’s lack of knowledge about his past. Such reactions are considered normal by organizations like the Criminal Injuries Helpline in the UK, as victims of abuse often struggle to process their emotions and may detach themselves upon the removal of the threat.
Commenters on the Reddit post provided different perspectives, highlighting that closure and numbness are common in such situations. Nevertheless, forgiveness may not always be possible after enduring unfathomable trauma. As this chapter of his life draws to a close, it is hoped that the man can continue on his journey of healing, focusing on his cherished family.
The man later updated his post to inform readers that his mother had indeed passed away. However, he offered no additional insight, implying that his initial feelings of emotional numbness persisted.
In conclusion, navigating the aftermath of abuse is a deeply personal and complex matter. There is no right or wrong way to feel, as each individual copes differently. The important thing is to seek support, whether it be through therapy or a strong support system, in order to heal and move forward.
